Video Game Quotes:
"The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty." ~FFIX Arrogence
"How do you prove that you exist...? Maybe we don't exist." ~FFIX Sorrow
"To be forgotten is worse than death." FFIX Despair
"All your base are belong to us." Zero Wing
Computer Related Quotes:
"640K of computer memory ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"Yahoo Messenger PC: add request has taken longer than expected. It may have succeeded, check your friends list later"
Quotes from the Wise:
People are like stained glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within. ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." Samuel Johnson
"If I give you an apple, and you give me an apple, we each still have one apple.
But if I give you an idea, and you give me an idea, we each have two ideas." anon
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Leonardo DaVinci
"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." Aristotle
"if we knew what it was we were doing, we wouldn't call it "research, would we?" -- Albert Einstein"
"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein
"Beauty depends on size as well as symmetry." Aristotle (384 B.C.-322 B.C.), Poetics
"If you have reasons for loving someone, then you are using your mind,
but if you love someone for no reason, then you are using your heart." Unknown Source
"I wish may, I wish i might, have this wish i wish tonight.
I want that star. I want it now. I want it all, and i don't care how.
Careful what you wish. Careful what you say. Careful what you wish,
you may regret it. Careful what you wish, you just might get it." ~Metallica (King Nothing)
Yahoo Chats (Yahoo! chat names edited):
"I'm gonna buy a farm and turn it into a landfill!
Why? Because I have nothing better to do."
"See, she dumped the best and had the rest,
now she has a second chance with the best."
"Do you like animals?
I'm a animal in bed."
"A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." The sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?" "
"GED: Good Enough Diploma"
"Citizens of the world: this is your new tyrant speaking. Make me a sandwich, please."
"In exactly one hour, a suppository will be injected into the anus of the elephant suspended above you.
By the time my lesbian ninjas have outed the president, you'll be buried under a thousand pounds of dung."
"I have 5 dogs, 2 cats, and a g/f that isnt an animal lover. It's hard to be me sometimes.
I cant just drown the lil guys. I remember their names more often then hers, so, I blame the system..."
"opens up the window of the plane (just imaigining that you can do that)
and throws the dog out the window
so the woman takes the mans cigar and thorws that out the window too
about 30 min. go by and the guy looks out the window
it's the dog, and he's holding on to the wing of the plane
and guess what was in his mouth????
"SUZANNE DARLIN, WANNA PLAY SOME BEDROOM GOLF, I GOT THE DRIVER AND BALLS, YOU FURNISH THE HOLES, WE BOTH WILL WIN "
"INVITING DARLIN, WANNA PLAY SUBMARINE, WE CAN GO DOWN TOGETHER, I WILL BE THE CAPTAIN AND GO DEEPER AND DDEEEEPER AND DDDDDDDDDDDDEEEPER"
"i guess Sherlock wants to educate us on mixed marriages
yes...i was not appreciating Michael Caine enough
Sherlock has shown me the light"
"Gino: <--- Fool"
"party: is this vent your emotional bullshit day?"
"Pointy_Tail: I bought a Russian sub too. I keep it in my pool. I threaten my neighbours with ballistic missiles if they play their music too loud"
"Jones: G-Funk shift on the fly 4 wheel drive fresh yo , flush it twice. Werd!"
"Jones: If I had a whore.... I would do her in the moooorniiing.
i woudl do her in the evening... All over my dessssskkk!
Then I think DANGER! better wear a ruuubbbberrr..."
"Guy: I got my love gun loaded, and she's on my sights man...
Guy: Guess who I'm aimin for..
Guy: My ex's friend"
gortex: too much axe in here for me
gortex: take care all
web: I love kids if they belong to someone else
Bayou: irish. you going to buy RealBasic?
irish: BUY it?
Bayou: you can download a 1month demo of RB
web: why buy when you can steal, and piss Bayou off lol
Bayou: otherwise, it is commercial
irish: yeah I would really like to use i t
Bayou: web. have another death stick
web: thanks, I shall
web: once I am dead you will miss me BayouBengal0, you know it
Bayou: web/ I already miss you just thinking about it!
web: I am touched, deeply
web: <wipes tear from eye>
"Bayou: Clinton can't drive around picking up chicks in NYC. there are no trailer parks"
"Bayou: just think. bomb could channel in Elenor Roosevelt for him"
Bayou: I'm in the openmac room
freak: im in America for the hookers
Bayou: who let the idiot in while I wasn't paying attention?
bombshe: Cocoa = bay?
Cocoa: <=== cold hearted dress wearing varmint
bombshe: proffy baby?
Cocoa: no. It is I, your lowly attack lion.
Bayou: (18 Feb 2003 02:26 PM) I think I will go find some more dead animal flesh to feast upon
magi: (18 Feb 2003 02:26 PM) NOOO BAYOU
Bayou: (18 Feb 2003 02:26 PM) I think I will go find some more dead animal flesh to GREEDILY feast upon
Bayou: (18 Feb 2003 02:26 PM) die cow! die!
bombshe: i have lived with this gift since i was 15
Gino: fucking blonde is bashing on me
mysticalosv: what "gift"?
saab: oh dear...
Gino: she has a gift of driving people Nutz
zeppelin: bombshe, me thinks you need to talk to a shrink'
Cantus: JohnKentucky, are those legal Mp3s?
JohnK: no, Cantus, I bought them off the street corner! LOL yes, they are from my CD's..why?
zeppelin: I smuggled mine from Maylasia
zeppelin: along with some Maylasians"
"insanely: bloody halloween
insanely: trick or treaters stole my mini disc player
dude: a time to hire tricker-treaters to get you candy
insanely: or an army to beat them all up
insanely: stupid kids
insanely: pesky kids
dude: i have hired 3 people to go out and get me some candy
Bob: LOL Nicedude
insanely: yea well they'll probably come back with electronics they've nicked off poor buggers like me
dude: the old "My brother leg has broken..." thing
dude: yay! More electronics
Bob: Yup, this is the new type of trick or treating, Insane
insanely: tell me about it"
"MysticalOSV: all, a man is upset and your best girl is upset, who ya gonna pick to be there for?
zeppelin: This Charla stuff is coo
zeppelin: Mystical, do you mess with Fink at all?
MysticalOSV: never heard of it
all: sorry it would depend on the man
zeppelin: sheez, what did I get in the middle of?
party: I tell em both not to bother me with thier crap"
"robin: Current Time: 00:48:54 GMT. Uptime: 17:08 hours. Computer Model: Power Mac G5 (Triple Processor). CPU Frequency: 3000 MHz. SDRAM: 3000 MB. Startup Disk's Capacity: 200 GB (128.09 GB free). Operating System: Mac OS X 11 . Installation Date: nov 22 2002.
hoyt: robin, been hackin' your mac a little?
robin: not got them in america yet
hoyt: [01:52:06 CET] Uptime: 25 Mins. Computer: Apple ][ (Aug 1981). Processor: 4 MHz motorola 6502. Bus Speed: 4 MHz. Memory: 64 kB. Startup Disk's Capacity: 360 kB.
guy: haha...64KB mem
robin: lol hoyt
guy: my calculator is faster lol"
curve: I don't believe in human genetic engineering, but if you could control penis size, that'd be cool
cloudlu: yea just not tooo big
curve: yeah, too big is bad
cloudlu: dont wnat to run them off
curve: let's changed the subject, fast
curve: no school on MOnday
mississippi: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandfather did....not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car
sarahgirl222000: 19/F GOD MY PUSSY IS ACHING TO BE FUCKED!! site
Jane Doe (10:50:52 PM): the cucumbers broken!!
Jane Doe (10:50:54 PM): lol
mysticalosv (10:50:58 PM): how?
mysticalosv (10:51:08 PM): who's cucumber is it?
Jane Doe (10:51:16 PM): i dont even know... !!
mysticalosv (10:51:23 PM): hmm how you gonna explain?
Jane Doe (10:51:36 PM): its broken tho i just pulled it out to see! LOL
Jane Doe (10:51:43 PM): i ate it!
Jane Doe (10:51:46 PM): brought it to school
mysticalosv (10:51:48 PM): hehe
mysticalosv (10:51:52 PM): the whole thing?
Jane Doe (10:51:57 PM): i was hungry!
mysticalosv (10:52:01 PM): ur small
mysticalosv (10:52:01 PM): lol
Jane Doe (10:52:02 PM): im the one who wanted them!
Jane Doe (10:52:18 PM): i ate some for breakfast the rest at school!
mysticalosv (10:52:50 PM): ya right
Jane Doe (10:52:59 PM): its kinda mushy!!
Jane Doe (10:53:04 PM): lol
Jane Doe (10:53:06 PM): ewww
Jane Doe (10:53:07 PM): !!
mysticalosv (10:53:35 PM): just tell em it was a good fuck
Jane Doe (10:53:36 PM): damn the things soo hot it was starting to cook LOL
mysticalosv (10:53:55 PM): tell em the cucumber was a good fuck
Jane Doe (10:54:03 PM): lol
Jane Doe (10:54:08 PM): maybe i will
Jane Doe (10:54:10 PM): probly not!
Jane Doe (10:54:11 PM): lol
Arcane: tomorrow you know what
Arcane: im gonna go out
Arcane: im gonna buy me a nice microwave
Arcane: have sex with it all night long
Arcane: everything but the last statement
Arcane: i dont have a microwave right now
Arcane: or a tv
Arcane: but fuck tv i need to cook my canned foods
Arcane: yes i have tv dinners
Arcane: but no microwave or tv
MysticalOSV: me nix?
nix: my dad
thief: screw you!
thief: only I can call me stupid
dark_avenger: people who believe in world peace r treehuggers
"Women are weird. To a woman a rich man is as sexy to them as a fashion model is to a man.
Women need money to further their nesting instincts, we need women to further our sense of self worth...."
"Hey John....wheres the new shit? My drive is getting lonely and confused because it suddenly has space...."
"Broke a tooth on mcdonald's food last night...
Do I sue? How can I sue? I ate the proof."
"Bah. You trust your phone company to actually give you what you think you're paying for
and then to implement the entire system properly in the first place??
You wanna buy a bridge? Sell you one cheap...real cheap."
"Bah. Nobody wants to fuck with canada. They know we'll kick their asses and impregnate their women.
We have nothing better to do."
"The canadian airforce has planes that are held together with more duct tape, bailing wire and bondo
than most cars in trailer parks..."
"Well, if she wants some german in her she can crawl in my bed. :)"
"For fucks sake I could have gotten a job, got paid, cashed the cheque, went to the bar, got a chick drunk,
took her home and fucked her in the time this shit is taking!"
"read me = trash this NOW."
"I'm harmless. Worst I can do is get her pregnant."
"I have nothing to fear except fat chicks getting my address and coming to visit."
"Guess I'm alive.
Dead was boring.
Bright light and all that. Seemed like a long walk so I passed on it."
"Hey babe, ever fucked a fat man? Comeon, make budda smile"
"I mean honestly, you think a chick you can get into bed with the magic words of
'Hey, lets fuck, you know you want to...so lets make it happen.' is worth having in the 1st place?"
Old age is one of the leading causes of death! So naturally, I avoid anything to do with growing up.
"Know what her and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts."
"You haven't seen Canadian drivers tho have you?
Every winter they drive on snow and ice like its the first time they ever seen the shit.
400+ car pileups and shit on the highway....
'WEEE! ICE, SNOW AND FOG!!! LETS DO WARP 9 ON IT!!!!' - Average CDN driver.
'Near zero visiblity schmizibility, I'll do 140 if I want to!' - Another CDN driver
'blizzard? BAH! I buy those at Dairy Queen!' - Dead CDN driver"
"Figure $100 a month and it'll be mine in under 2 years. Woo, just intime to be obsolete."
"You should write a book on procrastination. Sure, it'd be short because you'd put off the actual writing of it.
Maybe you could pen a couple sentences like 'I'll get to the rest of this book later....'"
"Thats it. I'm getting implants. Maybe THEN you'll friggin talk to me more."
"I'd sue microsoft for producing inferior products,
forcing me to have unprofitable downtime and exceedingly large learning curves,
all time that could have been used to make money,
and time off my life which is priceless...."
"Bob....Not to complain but lately your server is crashing more often than a narcoleptic at a poetry reading."
"Its very affordable to live here. Couple million people do it everyday in my area...."
"Should go try the sleep thing....I hear thats fun."
You're about as likely to come to Canada as I am to stick my cock in a blender and hit frappe button.
"A miracle might happen and you might actually still show up....yeah right!
And I'm about to grow a third eye above my asshole so I can check my wiping skills...."
...So I can keep an eye on the fiber in my diet"
"About as likely as a virgin in a whorehouse...."
"Just an idea. I have several each day....kinda habit forming...."
"Offline nobody guarantees anything other than the fact that if you buy it they'll let you leave the store with it."
"Sometimes you can't get what you want, and often you don't want what you can get.
The trick is finding a balance between the 2."
"Right into the money and rode her like a 3 legged mule."
"Don't know her from anything...basically what we had was what I'd call 'introductory sex',
the handshake and hello of the new millenium."
"Nah. I'll just tell her I slept with her to make my wife jealous, and boy is he pissed. :)"
"Chocolate triggers the release of the same endorphines in the female brain as sex.
You don't want to make them feel happy like they just got laid....
You want to make them feel like getting laid."
"Fucking little asswiping cumbubble monkey should be SHOT."
"If you start getting like what you see on tv, its time to have a truck back over your head..."
"Everyone dies sooner or later. Only the good ones seem to do it sooner and sooner all the time and the fuckers who deserve it seem to be immortal."